I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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