wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
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You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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