shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
