Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
