I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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