She said her name was "party"
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
