I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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