; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
