why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize