it's not cheating when I paid for it
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize