i just google imaged poop.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
