I'm drive I can fine osifer
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
