Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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