I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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