I want to stick my p in your. b.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
