is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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