Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat