When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
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Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
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btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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