the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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