im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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