I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
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Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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