No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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