ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
