Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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