I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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