I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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