if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
