My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
