Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
