You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Someone signed my nipple.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
