My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
