I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
