Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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