After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I could have mohawked her pubes.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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