do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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