Swine flu. Run for my life!
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
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