yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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