You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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