I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize