Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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