i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
