At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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