too bad you live with your parents still
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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