Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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