Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
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We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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