so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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