There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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