We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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