I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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