how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize