i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
