you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
how drunk are you?
Several
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
