dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
