Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
