it hurts more in the daytime
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
