you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
