How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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